Salon post: February 9th

[jenett]

Welcome to this week's salon post!

I've been home sick for two days (today I am actually at work, but also dubious I'm going to make it to the end of the day, but I had a couple of things that would be complicated to put off and I no longer feel completely lousy.)

Topic of the week
So, what do you do for self-care that makes a big difference for you? And has that changed over time, or with different situations?


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Comments

[killing_rose]

Listen to my household, mostly. I'm terrible at recognizing my limits. And, as my therapist says frequently, "Thank god for knitting," as without it my cope wanders off and no one can find it again. I'm getting better at not checking FB more than once a week, and I try fairly hard to hibernate in my room if I can't cope with people after work.

Taking my meds helps too, obviously.

Prior to knitting, I read a lot, and colored and played Spyro. (I still do the latter two; my meds have fucked with my reading to such a point that it's frustrating.)

[davidgillon]

Try and listen to my body, and recognise my coping mechanisms. I finally realised sometime within the past couple of years that disappearing into obsessive data-gathering may eat time, but it does actually significantly lower my stress levels when I'm not coping with something else.

[jenett]

Knitting is such an excellent thing.

I love it (and I picked it up originally for...) the 'no, I have actually done a thing where there is visible progress'.

[jazzyjj]

I'm not one of those high-stress people, no offense of course to those that are and who do have anxiety issues. But I do have to take medication for a kidney issue which I've had almost all my life. I've done this for so long that it has just become second nature for me. Speaking of meds, I'm waiting for a delivery but I think they're delayed due to the snowstorms. But I've got a lot left here in the pad, so I'm not too worried.





I like crowds, but I got rather bored with my job. I spend almost the entire day online, so I think it has almost become second nature to just hang out here. But having said that, I frequently hang out with my neighbors and we have meals together often.

[lilysea]

- Eating protein and vegetables

- Drinking water

- Wearing prescription sunglasses + broad brimmed hat + carrying a golf umbrella - otherwise the sun gives me migraines

- Earmuffs to block out noise on trains and in shopping centres = less migraines

- Facemask to filter out perfume on trains = less migraines

- Avoiding peak hour trains = less Anxiety and less physical pain

- magnesium citrate tablets have helped my insomnia, anxiety, and muscle tension/muscle pain. Also my migraines.

- Avoiding crowds = less Anxiety and less physical pain

[alexseanchai]

Five-things todo tada lists—limiting todos to five is important. Petting my kitty.

[adrian_turtle]

Like so many people above, I have a hard time recognizing my limits and listening to my body. One thing I'm really working on is dealing with falls and other minor accidents. It's really tempting to pick myself up and carry on with what I was doing, to not lose momentum, to not do anything so embarrassing as ask for help (or even accept it when it's offered) because it would be so much simpler if I wasn't hurt so let's just act like I'm not. I don't go so far as to follow concussion protocols for every head bonk, but I try to at least stop and acknowledge that there's a problem.

[wohali]

I once learned from a fellow conference staffer the 5-2-1 rule, and it forms the basis of my self-care on really bad days. Every day, I need a minimum of 5 hours of sleep, 2 meals, and 1 bath/shower.

Hot showers or baths. (This has been a constant for most of my life - the bathroom was the one safe place I could be as a child in a household full of drama and abuse. It was also the only room that reliably locked in all the places we lived.)

(Decaffeinated/herbal) tea is another one. I don't go far without at least a few bags of peppermint or ginger tea.

Using <a href="http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play>You Feel Like Shit</a> is a new one that I've really taken to. When I've overwhelmed to the point where I can't even think, this helps guide me through the essentials (though I don't agree with it 100% of the time).

[kyrielle]

I'm really bad at self-care lately (because I'm short on time), but: silly phone games, *reading* (which means lots of eBooks on my phone because it reliably goes everywhere with me - I like physical books, but they're not always convenient), photography*, going for walks (as a form of exercise and also a form of calm), tea. I mostly don't have time for soaking baths or going to the Japanese Garden, both of which used to be good for that sort of thing.

* I love it as a hobby, and I'm trying to take and post a photo a day on Instagram. Some are amazingly banal, but I'm trying to force myself to not put it off, and for that it works.

[tjoel2]

I need my quiet time for self-care. Time to do the things that feed my soul like read, paint, draw, sew, create. It drains me to constantly be social, loud and around groups. There are so many things that I do for so many people, when I need those self-care moments, it's when I do the things that are just for me. Then I feel grounded and inspired and can re-enter the other world. I've pretty much always been that way.

[tjoel2]

I do that with my knitting and crochet too! Although sometimes I put on a movie while I'm knitting, but it has to be a movie that I've already seen because I have to take my glasses off to knit and then I can't actually see the TV. :)

[tjoel2]

I 'm a huge believer in list making. Sometimes just writing out the list clears my mind to be able to get things done. I have lately been making a list for things to get done Today, and on the back, other things that I want to do but have no time frame. That has helped me prioritize and not get so distracted.

[alexseanchai]

*nodnod*

I'm not good at prioritizing, which bugs me but I have no idea how to fix that. And limiting the lists to five undone todos—or fewer, if I tada something—does seem to help block off the TOO MANY TO DO WHICH ONE TO DO bullshit my brain pulls...

[alexseanchai]

I want to read more. But it's so hard to get enough chunk of free time to vanish into the book—read: apply ADHD hyperfocus—and I haven't really figured out how to read just a little at a time without hyperfocusing, if it's not, like, fanfic or DW!

[alexseanchai]

yes nod nod nod

[hunningham]

Exercise! I'm realising that one of the best things I can do for myself is get some exercise. It really helps (me) with depression. And now all I have to do is try and find ways to make sure I do this thing, because when I'm feeling bad it's really hard.

Things which have worked for me. This is all me, me, me - what works for me and makes a difference to me, not a rule for all.

1) Personal trainer. This is very much about having the dosh to pay for it, but here I am outsourcing the motivation and will-power. Doesn't matter what I feel like, Monday morning this guy will turn up on my doorstep and exercise will happen.

2) fitbit! I bought a fitbit on ebay, and I love it. Originally I wanted to measure sleep, now it's all about counting steps. The trick is to have a reasonable daily goal, not a stretch goal, and go for the everyday thing. Evenings, I am now "I must go for a walk - I have steps to step". I love the little buzz and rocket ship which appears when target goal is met. This works for me - I like counting things. Also, it is possible for me to step out of my front door and walk somewhere safe & pleasant. I have audiobooks to listen to while I walk.

A warning. If fitbit goals involve guilt or self-blame or distress, then it's not working and you should get rid of it. Sell it on ebay.

Things which didn't work for me at all. Yoga. Pilates. Both left me grumpy, out of sorts and ill at ease with my body. Any kind of exercise class with routines and things done in time to music. Exercise classes in general. I hate running.

[rmc28]

Listening to my body and Going To Bed On Time Damnit. Or earlier if I'm tired.

Regular gentle exercise - for me this is walking, or possibly cycling (though cycling can make me *more* stressed depending what traffic is like where I go). I'm lucky enough to live and work somewhere where walking/cycling to work makes sense so I get that "built in" to my routine. Whether walking or cycling I keep the intensity at a level that ensures I arrive at work non-sweaty.

I've recently had the chance to swim lanes a couple of times for the first time in *years* and very much want to add a weekly lane swim to my routine somehow (ideally with a sauna session afterward - oh, I love sauna so much, and it is *so* worth paying for).

In hospital a few years ago I figured out that I am much happier if I listen to music every day and learn something every day. So my reminder app literally has in it daily tasks to:
* listen to music for at least 30 minutes - I will often do this *while* walking or cycling, and I bought bone-conduction headphones explicitly to allow me to do so safely
* spend at least 10 minutes on Duolingo
* read at least one piece of short fiction

My husband and children are noticeably happier with reliable daily and weekly routines, whereas I seem to be ok so long as I get things done at some point. I spend a lot of time/mental energy making sure their routines stay on track, and fit *my* things in whenever. But I do prioritise fitting them in.

I'm currently waiting for a counselling slot for Lots Of Life Stress; in the meantime I've been given a place on a 4-session course on mindfulness, self-care and meditation. So far I've done one course, during which I fell asleep during the guided meditation. I did a sauna the next day, however, and tried doing some of the breathing-focused mindfulness exercises, and it seemed like a good location for it.

[rmc28]

I love my fitbit, and I've definitely been motivated to go and Do More Steps by the prospect of turning everything green :-) I've also learned that setting my goals to things that I *can* hit almost every day is way more motivating than leaving them at my "in an ideal world" setting. I have a whole slightly complicated process for tracking and updating progress against my goals each week - but then I love doing slightly complicated processes and marking progress that way.

[hunningham]

Limiting the list to five things sounds like a REALLY good idea - I'm going to try that.