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jenett(an ongoing process)
I think carefully about connections and commitments – and for me, subscribing to someone, or allowing them access, or reading their protected material implies some commitments. I want to outline here what those are for me, so you can decide how they fit your preferences.
I’m trying to balance meeting nifty new people I have shared interests with alongside a busy life, and keeping up with people I already know I find fascinating. I hope you’ll bear with me as I see what works for me here and what doesn’t.
I normally re-evaluate my online habits in a focused way (including who I’m reading, who’s allowed access to more private information, and how I’m dividing my time) about twice a year. I obviously also make ongoing changes as something catches my attention.
Subscription:
Please feel free to subscribe to me. A larger number of posts here will be open than in my LiveJournal so I expect there to be substantial content. You can also check out my public religious blog at http://gleewood.org/threshold.
When I consider subscribing to someone’s journal, I think about four things:
- I want to read the vast majority of what you write. (Either because I'm interested in the topic, or you're an interesting writer, or because I care a lot about your life. Doesn't really matter which: I'm interested in a lot of different things.)
- I’m comfortable seeing it come up whenever you post, regardless of what mood I’m in.
- I feel like I’d be welcome commenting, on at least some topics. (This is nebulous and hard to define, of course.) I want to be open to new relationships, not new voyeurism.
- Whether I have enough interaction with you to feel some kind of ongoing connection/ability to keep track of what they’re talking about when they do post. If you post once every three months, I probably don’t know enough to make sense of your most recent concerns, y’know?
If any of those things aren’t true, I might not subscribe to someone. I might bookmark their journal and check in once a week, or as I have time. I might choose to read them only if I’m in a specific headspace. It all depends.
Some things are about the inside of my head
I don’t like reading weight loss discussion – cuts and filters are fine, or occasional mentions, but I’ll unsubscribe from someone where it’s regular public content I can’t skim past when I need to. (On the other hand, I’m very interested in reading thoughts about cooking, sustainable habits, and some related topics.)
I also consider whether to keep reading someone who makes broad brush strokes (in a nasty way) about people based on a wide group (gender, race, religion, orientation, who someone spends time with, sub-communities, etc.) It’s just not stuff I want in my home ‘Net space, though I do regularly choose to read things that challenge or trouble me to learn more about the world.
How I handle this depends on my available time, energy, and whether I think a lengthy or heated conversation is the best place for my energy about a particular issue at that time. Generally, I give people I know well a bit more leeway than someone I know very little of, and will talk to them before I remove them from my regular reading.
Access
I give access to people I already know, and where there’s ongoing interaction I don’t mean every day, or every week. But enough that I feel like I know some of what’s in their life, and they know what’s in mine, and are not going to make completely wild assumptions. Mutual access helps with this, but is not necessary.
My protected entries often involve other people I do my best to make who those other people are obscure unless you already know them (I use initials or descriptions, rather than names, for example) and to give the least detail possible that still makes sense. But before I give anyone access, I want to be sure they’ll be thoughtful about that information and respect privacy and confidentiality. Usually, that means reading their own entries and comments for a bit, and seeing how they handle various situations.
I often use protected entries for problem solving or working through an issue If I give you access to these, it’s because I think you might have useful comments. That means I think you know enough about the background not to suggest things that are not appropriate to the situation (or at least that you’ll ask questions, rather than assume you know all the pieces.)
I take access to other people’s protected information seriously and will do my best to keep to your preferences about it. It helps if I can review your preferences easily if I have questions if they’re more complicated than my default ‘don’t share stuff in locked posts unless you know for certain the other person can also see it’.
I’m happy to remove access if someone isn’t comfortable having it, doesn’t feel they can follow these requirements, etc. The same goes for specific filters (this account currently only has one.) I’m glad to have private conversations about who else is on a filter or not if it’s helpful in deciding what you say or how you say it.
Privacy
Public posts are public: They therefore don’t have any further identifying information than is in my profile. Please don’t put it there in a comment, either. I redact the name of the school I work for (to [school]), and details of a number of other specifics. Names are usually initials. If it’s confusing, please ask, but I try to signpost who someone is, too.
I keep my legal name and my online usernames separate, specifically in ways that can be easily searched. (I talk a lot about my religion, and some about relationship stuff, and I don’t want students or colleagues from work stumbling across those comments without context.) Connecting them in public is a Very Bad Thing in my book, and a serious breach of trust. This includes connections on Facebook and other places under my legal name – I keep Pagan-related stuff off of there because I use it largely for work-related kinds of interactions.
Likely content
I write long. You should probably get comfortable with this idea now. (I do cut tag for anything over about 3 paragraphs, and I am in tune with the mystery of the white space.)
Religion: I spend a lot of time on it. Thinking about it, writing about it, teaching about it, running a small coven in it. I don’t talk about the religiony parts as often as I do the surrounding stuff: how to build communities I want to be in, how to talk about things more clearly and usefully, how to be a sane and sustainable priestess, how to handle questions of new students, guide seekers to possible groups, and all sorts of other things.
Communications and process geeking in general: Everything from how to talk about things better to how to cook better, to how to manage housekeeping better. Stuff like that.
Music and other creative stuff that I very much want to a) do more of and b) talk more about. I write, but mostly religious non-fiction. You may also see occasional poetry or song lyrics.
Various daily life things to keep friends updated in what’s going on with me, and what I think about it. Varies, but rarely more than once a day, and often only a couple of times a week (usually with some other, more interesting content.)
I do not so often post about books, despite being a librarian. I sometimes work on changing this. Maybe one of these times it will stick. I also don’t do much fiction writing of any kind. I have a cat, but she gets brief mentions rather than photos, because I am generally too lazy to dig out the camera.
Interested?
If you know me from elsewhere, telling me that is helpful if it’s not obvious. (Some of you, it is.)
If you don’t know me from elsewhere, one thing I’ve found I like is to ask for a comment here on a public post somewhere (here, in my blog, I don’t care) from me telling me what you found interesting. (A little info about you helps too, but a pointer at a bio works is often fine.)
I think carefully about connections and commitments – and for me, subscribing to someone, or allowing them access, or reading their protected material implies some commitments. I want to outline here what those are for me, so you can decide how they fit your preferences.
I’m trying to balance meeting nifty new people I have shared interests with alongside a busy life, and keeping up with people I already know I find fascinating. I hope you’ll bear with me as I see what works for me here and what doesn’t.
I normally re-evaluate my online habits in a focused way (including who I’m reading, who’s allowed access to more private information, and how I’m dividing my time) about twice a year. I obviously also make ongoing changes as something catches my attention.
Subscription:
Please feel free to subscribe to me. A larger number of posts here will be open than in my LiveJournal so I expect there to be substantial content. You can also check out my public religious blog at http://gleewood.org/threshold.
When I consider subscribing to someone’s journal, I think about four things:
- I want to read the vast majority of what you write. (Either because I'm interested in the topic, or you're an interesting writer, or because I care a lot about your life. Doesn't really matter which: I'm interested in a lot of different things.)
- I’m comfortable seeing it come up whenever you post, regardless of what mood I’m in.
- I feel like I’d be welcome commenting, on at least some topics. (This is nebulous and hard to define, of course.) I want to be open to new relationships, not new voyeurism.
- Whether I have enough interaction with you to feel some kind of ongoing connection/ability to keep track of what they’re talking about when they do post. If you post once every three months, I probably don’t know enough to make sense of your most recent concerns, y’know?
If any of those things aren’t true, I might not subscribe to someone. I might bookmark their journal and check in once a week, or as I have time. I might choose to read them only if I’m in a specific headspace. It all depends.
Some things are about the inside of my head
I don’t like reading weight loss discussion – cuts and filters are fine, or occasional mentions, but I’ll unsubscribe from someone where it’s regular public content I can’t skim past when I need to. (On the other hand, I’m very interested in reading thoughts about cooking, sustainable habits, and some related topics.)
I also consider whether to keep reading someone who makes broad brush strokes (in a nasty way) about people based on a wide group (gender, race, religion, orientation, who someone spends time with, sub-communities, etc.) It’s just not stuff I want in my home ‘Net space, though I do regularly choose to read things that challenge or trouble me to learn more about the world.
How I handle this depends on my available time, energy, and whether I think a lengthy or heated conversation is the best place for my energy about a particular issue at that time. Generally, I give people I know well a bit more leeway than someone I know very little of, and will talk to them before I remove them from my regular reading.
Access
I give access to people I already know, and where there’s ongoing interaction I don’t mean every day, or every week. But enough that I feel like I know some of what’s in their life, and they know what’s in mine, and are not going to make completely wild assumptions. Mutual access helps with this, but is not necessary.
My protected entries often involve other people I do my best to make who those other people are obscure unless you already know them (I use initials or descriptions, rather than names, for example) and to give the least detail possible that still makes sense. But before I give anyone access, I want to be sure they’ll be thoughtful about that information and respect privacy and confidentiality. Usually, that means reading their own entries and comments for a bit, and seeing how they handle various situations.
I often use protected entries for problem solving or working through an issue If I give you access to these, it’s because I think you might have useful comments. That means I think you know enough about the background not to suggest things that are not appropriate to the situation (or at least that you’ll ask questions, rather than assume you know all the pieces.)
I take access to other people’s protected information seriously and will do my best to keep to your preferences about it. It helps if I can review your preferences easily if I have questions if they’re more complicated than my default ‘don’t share stuff in locked posts unless you know for certain the other person can also see it’.
I’m happy to remove access if someone isn’t comfortable having it, doesn’t feel they can follow these requirements, etc. The same goes for specific filters (this account currently only has one.) I’m glad to have private conversations about who else is on a filter or not if it’s helpful in deciding what you say or how you say it.
Privacy
Public posts are public: They therefore don’t have any further identifying information than is in my profile. Please don’t put it there in a comment, either. I redact the name of the school I work for (to [school]), and details of a number of other specifics. Names are usually initials. If it’s confusing, please ask, but I try to signpost who someone is, too.
I keep my legal name and my online usernames separate, specifically in ways that can be easily searched. (I talk a lot about my religion, and some about relationship stuff, and I don’t want students or colleagues from work stumbling across those comments without context.) Connecting them in public is a Very Bad Thing in my book, and a serious breach of trust. This includes connections on Facebook and other places under my legal name – I keep Pagan-related stuff off of there because I use it largely for work-related kinds of interactions.
Likely content
I write long. You should probably get comfortable with this idea now. (I do cut tag for anything over about 3 paragraphs, and I am in tune with the mystery of the white space.)
Religion: I spend a lot of time on it. Thinking about it, writing about it, teaching about it, running a small coven in it. I don’t talk about the religiony parts as often as I do the surrounding stuff: how to build communities I want to be in, how to talk about things more clearly and usefully, how to be a sane and sustainable priestess, how to handle questions of new students, guide seekers to possible groups, and all sorts of other things.
Communications and process geeking in general: Everything from how to talk about things better to how to cook better, to how to manage housekeeping better. Stuff like that.
Music and other creative stuff that I very much want to a) do more of and b) talk more about. I write, but mostly religious non-fiction. You may also see occasional poetry or song lyrics.
Various daily life things to keep friends updated in what’s going on with me, and what I think about it. Varies, but rarely more than once a day, and often only a couple of times a week (usually with some other, more interesting content.)
I do not so often post about books, despite being a librarian. I sometimes work on changing this. Maybe one of these times it will stick. I also don’t do much fiction writing of any kind. I have a cat, but she gets brief mentions rather than photos, because I am generally too lazy to dig out the camera.
Interested?
If you know me from elsewhere, telling me that is helpful if it’s not obvious. (Some of you, it is.)
If you don’t know me from elsewhere, one thing I’ve found I like is to ask for a comment here on a public post somewhere (here, in my blog, I don’t care) from me telling me what you found interesting. (A little info about you helps too, but a pointer at a bio works is often fine.)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 09:22 pm (UTC)Thanks again for writing this up!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 12:18 am (UTC)Mostly what I care about is that people are
a) asking questions and not making assumptions
and b) understand that there's some stuff I'll gladly explain, and some stuff that I can't (either because it affects other people, or because it doesn't go into words well, or whatever.)
Like most religions - and relationships, really.
The thing that drives me batty is people making assumptions about it and then giving me advice based on the assumptions. (Asking questions, and then suggesting "Hey, I don't know if this fits, but..." works much better for me.)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 12:45 am (UTC)I'm Christian, but (as I like to point out) not one of the scary ones. I took a long time of careful thought and consideration to come to my beliefs the way I hold them now and I assume others must have done the same and therefore logically must deserve the same respect I hope others will show me. I talk about my faith and what I believe and why, but I don't proselytize, I don't browbeat, I don't even harbor secret judgments on matters of faith. So while I'm aware that versions of my faith are more widely known and you may not have interest or questions regarding any of it, if for some reason you do, feel free to ask me what you will as well. My particular denomination is more conservative than I am; I'm not very good at being church of Christ. ^_~ Though I suppose all of this probably belongs in my journal instead of in a comment to yours, huh?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 01:16 am (UTC)I've still got a tremendous amount of respect for thoughtful Christianity - it's the parts that assume I'm doing things wrong, or that I'm inherently flawed because I'm not doing what someone else thinks would be best for me that get a little sticky. (Talking about different approaches, fine, being pushy, not so great.)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 05:47 am (UTC)Hiya. I made it here. Can I come in and sit by the fire?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 05:20 am (UTC)James
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 11:16 am (UTC)When I started over here on Dreamwidth, I ended up writing up 3 essays on my religious life and practice - definitely glad to answer further questions/discuss further/etc. but it's a decent starting place. The index is here: http://jenett.dreamwidth.org/899941.html
(And feel free to ask questions about that, should you have any, wherever you prefer. Comments on the appropriate post are fine, comments here are fine, email is fine...)
salve
Date: 2013-06-29 09:06 pm (UTC)Looking forward to getting to know you,
J.J.
Re: salve
Date: 2013-06-29 09:09 pm (UTC)I've given you access, too. (I am generally pretty relaxed about granting access, and most of my interesting stuff is access-locked, so here, have more text to play with!)
Standard usual comments about "Feel free to ask me about things that make you curious: I like that sort of thing, and if you do hit a thing I'd rather not talk about, I'll tell you." (They're not that common.)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-28 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-28 04:25 pm (UTC)