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Background:
In the fall of 2006, the partner of a dear friend of mine died suddenly. She was devastated, and surrounding stress triggered significant medical difficulties for her as well that made it very hard for her to think clearly about many tasks, or plan ahead to get other things done. Among other problems, she completely lost her voice for over a month, making phone calls even more impossible for her than usual. (She also has hearing loss that makes them fairly stressful in the first place.)
I spent about six months (three very seriously, three decreasingly so) helping her as best I could.
She’s said since I saved her life. I’m not so sure – but I do know it helped. Since then, we’ve both wanted to talk about how that worked, and what made things easier, and how some fairly simple things can do a lot to help someone out in case it's useful to other people . My side is in this document, though I hope she’ll add comments when she gets a chance.
While the situation I'm mostly talking about here is a lot about grief, and some about chronic medical issue flares, the basic principles are applicable to a lot of other situations as well. Adapt as makes sense for you, the person you're wanting to help, and their situation.
(I'll note here that she read this before I posted it: she may have additional comments from her perspective later on, but we both agree I've covered the things I did for her, and I'm representing the bits that are about her to the best of our mutual memories.)
( Much more inside )
In the fall of 2006, the partner of a dear friend of mine died suddenly. She was devastated, and surrounding stress triggered significant medical difficulties for her as well that made it very hard for her to think clearly about many tasks, or plan ahead to get other things done. Among other problems, she completely lost her voice for over a month, making phone calls even more impossible for her than usual. (She also has hearing loss that makes them fairly stressful in the first place.)
I spent about six months (three very seriously, three decreasingly so) helping her as best I could.
She’s said since I saved her life. I’m not so sure – but I do know it helped. Since then, we’ve both wanted to talk about how that worked, and what made things easier, and how some fairly simple things can do a lot to help someone out in case it's useful to other people . My side is in this document, though I hope she’ll add comments when she gets a chance.
While the situation I'm mostly talking about here is a lot about grief, and some about chronic medical issue flares, the basic principles are applicable to a lot of other situations as well. Adapt as makes sense for you, the person you're wanting to help, and their situation.
(I'll note here that she read this before I posted it: she may have additional comments from her perspective later on, but we both agree I've covered the things I did for her, and I'm representing the bits that are about her to the best of our mutual memories.)
( Much more inside )
