2.) Two different takes on the financial stressor element that may be more or less applicable, but could be helpful in terms of thinking through possibilities to make that less stressful for you:
3.) Some links for contextualizing - what tends to make people happy in relationships behavior-wise, making complicated work, etc. - again, not everything will map directly on your situation, but they may work around to emotional truths that could prove helpful touchstones
Hope these prove helpful in negotiating with Sig. Other (and with yourself) to move toward better - sometimes getting some motion in a positive direction on some things has a ripple effect through the rest. I strongly support & recommend acting on your desire for having things that are yours & your own independent of your relationship with Sig. Other (no one person can meet all of your needs even if they were absolutely perfect in every way!) and suspect that if Sig. Other did the same, both of you would find your relationship with each other less fraught and more satisfying.
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Date: 2013-07-26 11:08 am (UTC)Captain Awkward: #486: Feeling lonely in a relationship and worried about self-sabotage (this one is the one your Sig. Other's desire to constantly be with you reminded me of)
- See also: the dirty normal's attachment styles – a primer
Captain Awkward: #466: Possessive friend is weirding me out/A constructive conflict review. (Scroll to get to "Rules for constructive conflict when you want to repair a relationship")
Captain Awkward: #468 and #469: “Hey, knock it off”, or, Constructive Conflict, Continued.
2.) Two different takes on the financial stressor element that may be more or less applicable, but could be helpful in terms of thinking through possibilities to make that less stressful for you:
Captain Awkward: #429 & #430: When depression is contagious.
Dear Sugar: DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #93: How The Real Work Is Done
3.) Some links for contextualizing - what tends to make people happy in relationships behavior-wise, making complicated work, etc. - again, not everything will map directly on your situation, but they may work around to emotional truths that could prove helpful touchstones
The Pervocracy: Green flags
Dear Sugar: DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #81: A Bit of Sully in Your Sweet
4.) Things you can do for yourself independent of how stuff is or isn't going with the other member(s) of your household:
Captain Awkward: #330: Life blows. How can I be nice to myself again?
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Hope these prove helpful in negotiating with Sig. Other (and with yourself) to move toward better - sometimes getting some motion in a positive direction on some things has a ripple effect through the rest. I strongly support & recommend acting on your desire for having things that are yours & your own independent of your relationship with Sig. Other (no one person can meet all of your needs even if they were absolutely perfect in every way!) and suspect that if Sig. Other did the same, both of you would find your relationship with each other less fraught and more satisfying.