(no subject)

May. 23rd, 2026 09:53 am
olivermoss: (Default)
[personal profile] olivermoss
I noticed the color problem I'm having while sending myself this file. It's the third of my Trinket Trade button designs.



During PWHL games this promo/hype video set to Just Got Started always plays. Chat pretends the lyrics are 'It's gay time' instead of 'It's game time' and spam pride flags while it plays. I just assumed they did that because it's a very PWHL-chat thing to do.

Turns out, it's youtube's fault:


Either way, I thought it would be good button fodder. I may remake the image from scratch. I spend so much time futzing with it until I came up with a design I liked that the text pixelated from too many resizings and transforms. But I am going to test print before I do anything else. Pixelation might not show at 1.25 inch size. I learned new things in Procreate to get that to make the stripey text work.

I have a page of notes about PWHL memes.

Oh, and also I had to re-find my button template on an old drive. On the site for the button maker I use, when I tried to nab a new one it sent me to Shopify??? And trying to find just a basic 1.25 template online returned a bunch of garbage that is not that. You need a temple so when I sent it to Fed Ex to print, everything comes out the right size. It needs to be exact. Why is everything a mess?

Doctor Who Drabble: Punishment

May. 23rd, 2026 05:48 pm
badly_knitted: (Eleven & TARDIS)
[personal profile] badly_knitted
 


Title: Punishment
Author: 
[personal profile] badly_knitted
Characters: Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor.
Rating: G
Written For: Challenge 1028: ‘Vat’ at 
[community profile] dw100.
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Donna and the Doctor are under arrest.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who, or the characters.
 


 

FANFIC: let down your hair (Plecverse)

May. 23rd, 2026 06:28 pm
queenslayerbee: Isabelle Adjany as Lucy Harker in 1979's "Nosferatu the Vampire". She's surrounded by darkness, looking over her shoulder while she wears a white nightgown and a cross as a necklace. A hand with long nails like a claw is reaching for her neck from the darkness behind her. (lucy harker (nosferatu the vampire))
[personal profile] queenslayerbee
Aaaand we're now onto 2020!

I published very few fics that year, but I'm quite proud of them. This first one is a very… sui generis Rapunzel/Tangled AU I wrote for the Klaroline New Year's Day gift exchange.

Title: let down your hair.
Fandom: Plecverse.
Character/Pairing: Caroline Forbes/Klaus Mikaelson.
Rating/Warnings: E, some mild horror elements; implied/referenced sexual assault before the story starts.
Summary: There were countless legends about what hid behind the walls of the witch's tower. Caroline never expected to uncover those secrets herself.
Word count: 3k.

read more
-

Caroline, not without some effort, swallowed the hare’s wretched blood.

Coming from those men it had tasted so, oh, so much better.

She’d been wandering the woods for hours, wearing her father’s borrowed heavy clothes and his slightly too big boots, feverish with hunger, and she feared she wouldn’t find refuge from the sunlight on time.

Caroline had used the time alone in the woods to try and piece together the events of the past nights. She remembered the town dance –she’d danced, happy, and she’d accepted the request of one, two, three, maybe more of the boys in the town square. They had presumed, later. She remembers the feeling of her skull cracking against the pavement, a memory she’s sure nobody should be able to recall.

After that, everything was a blur until she awoke with their blood burning down her throat, spilled over her face and her hands, and staining her dress.

She ran away, her neighbors chasing her with all but pitchforks.

There had always been talk around the town, about a nearby recluse. A wise woman; a witch, who dealt in the otherworldly, who had a cure for everything.

Caroline remembered the boys and wasn’t sure it was a cure she wanted. Answers, that would have to be the first step.

She could’ve wept of sheer relief when she found the tower, the sky ominously clearer by the second. She could’ve wept of fury when she found she couldn’t see a door anywhere near the perimeter.

There was only a window, at the very top. Dried vines, golden and red due to the season, climbed around the tower, and Caroline dragged her tired body up with more ease than she anticipated.

She pushed against the windows, jumping inside the room as silently as she could. She’d been about to call out for someone with her best timid voice when her ears picked up a low, deep growl on her left.

That was all the warning she received before a wolf, illuminated by the moonlight that filtered through the open window, jumped over her. She screamed, at the top of her lungs, and fought it off with her new strength, but it seemed as adamant to eat her as she’d been him if she’d found it in the woods. Its teeth looked as big as her forearm, as deadly as the sharpest blade she encountered, and she could swear it was twice as big as any wolf she heard of.

Caroline managed to fight it off, walking –running– away from it with all but a few scratch marks. Her back hit a nearby chair in her escape, and she threw it against the wolf’s head, buying a few seconds. A sturdy closet sat unassumingly against the opposite wall, and she lunged at it, thanking the gods when it opened and let her in.

The wolf collapsed against it mere seconds after she closed the doors, holding them together from the inside. It kept trying and trying for what felt to her like hours until a blessed, charged silence graced the room.

She waited several minutes even after the noise calmed down, her heartbeat still accelerated, before she carefully opened the closet again. The sun now shyly entered the room, barely a few inches, far enough that she felt safe. In the middle of the room, crowed by tables and bookcases, instead of the wolf Caroline expected, she saw an unconscious nude man.

Someone like her, she thought. Not exactly. Akin to her, maybe.

With a sympathy she hadn’t expected, she grabbed a piece of cloth from the closet, and walked towards him to cover him from the morning cold. But when she got to close his hand clasped around her wrist, hard and painful, and unnatural eyes stared at her.

She could pull free, she thought, if only she pulled hard enough. But as if she was pinned in place by the stare of a wild animal, which in a way she was, she carefully raised her other hand, palms open, and said, “I mean you no harm.”

He released, not moving his eyes away from her, and stood up disregarding the cloth. He blatantly sniffed her, and Caroline didn’t know if it was out of place to feel vaguely offended by that fact.

“Vampyre,” he whispered.

Caroline wasn’t stupid. She’d heard the stories; she could add two plus two in her head. She just hadn’t thought –maybe hadn’t wanted to– about the one specific word.

“Yes. It’s very new,” she said, aiming for cheerful. Failing.

“Why are you here?”

“I’d heard someone here could help me. A woman. I don’t think you’re her.”

Had he come here for the same reasons? To get help? If he had, it didn’t seem to be a success.

He hummed. Since he’d woken up, his eyes hadn’t left hers, and it unnerved her beyond what she could explain. She wondered if he was still thinking about eating her; two could play that game.

“How new?”

“Just a few days.”

He repeated that irritating hum. “I know a thing or two about your kind. Maybe I could help.”

The offered seemed sincere enough, yet she felt like she was walking into a beautifully arranged trap.

“What else can hurt me?” she asked, remembering the itching burn of the sun.

“There is a plant,” he said, pointing at one of the bottles stored in the bookcase, “that will burn you just like the sun. Humans can consume it to protect themselves from you.”

She watched with suspicious as he walked away from the bookcase.

“And as for the sun, well. There’s a spell that can render you invulnerable to it. Any witch worth their while would know it.”

That was reassuring, she guessed.

"I don't know how it happened," she admitted, begrudgingly.

"You died, clearly. After drinking from one of them."

"I think I would remember if I had drunk blood before."

"Not necessarily. They have their tricks; they can manipulate minds, make you forget. You could do it too, to any human."

And wasn't that a terrifying thought; that she was missing even more memories.

At once, she realized the man was walking around the room as naked as when he’d first attacked, and she asked him, amused, “Are you thinking of dressing up any time soon?”

He tilted his head to the side as if confused about the inquiry. As if he’d just realized walking around with his manhood dangling around was a breach of manners. His stare was just as penetrating –did he blink at all?

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not particularly,” she shrugged it off.

He walked two long, quick steps towards her, invading her personal space. His eyes roamed her face, her body, with a new type of hunger. She hadn’t gotten the opportunity to properly bathe in days; her locks must have looked like an unkempt nest, her clothes did her no favors and she was pretty sure there was still blood on her somewhere. She had to look feral. Two beasts.

Because that’s what he was. He reminded Caroline of those stories about enticing, handsome monsters that lured young women to the woods, never to be seen again. Some of those stories were told as warnings; others were whispered among girls with inappropriate and fearful glee, and Caroline had always been adamant that they did not resonate with her.

She raised her hands to his face, holding it between them. Caroline could feel his breath on her tongue. “You didn’t tell me your name”, she whispered.

“Klaus,” he replied, each letter felt over her lips, “yours?”

“Caroline.”

She counted three seconds, and when it seemed he wouldn’t make any move, she made it for him.

The kiss started slow, but that lasted less than a dozen heartbeats. Klaus pressed her against the table, and when she felt his hands over her clothes, she rushed to take them all off herself before he could tear them away.

He pushed her down until her back laid bare against the wood, and pressed open-mouthed, bruising kisses down her body till he finally arrived between her legs. He didn’t pause to think much, licking into her folds immediately.

Caroline pushed herself up with her arms, to have a better look at the action. He was completely focused on the task, lips, tongue, and fingers committed to bringing her pleasure. She couldn’t stop thinking about his fangs, about the claws whose mark had already healed from her forearm. She wondered if any minute now, they would both sprout again and he’d use them to devour her; that thought, that primal fear, somehow only gave her a rush and precipitated her rapture.

When she could feel the end coming, she possessively threaded her fingers in his hair, pushing his face closer, and let out a scream, blissed out. He raised and kissed her open mouth, his tongue tasting of her.

She pushed him down on the floor, willing to return the favor, and swallowed what she could of his member and fondled the rest with her hands. Caroline had never cared much for the taste, so she knew how to make it quick, and she used that there. When Klaus was brought to release with a low groan, she suppressed a gag and swallowed it all –better than having it spill on her face or her hair. A few drops fell down the corner of her lips, and she quickly cleaned them off with the back of her hand.

Caroline laid down next to him, taking a look at his face: relaxed, eyes closed for the first time. It was with the taste of his spill still heavy on the back of her throat that he said, “She will kill you.”

She froze in place. “What?

“She hates monsters.”

Driven by instinct, she grabbed her clothes, whatever she could, and approached the window, willing to jump down. Only a few steps away from the sunlight she realized why Klaus hadn’t tried to stop her.

“Even if it was nighttime, you wouldn’t be able to leave.” He walked around her and tried to press his hand past the window. An invisible wall seemed to stop him, and a noise like a clear church bell resounded around them. “Creatures of the night can get in, but not out.”

She let the clothes drop to the floor, repressing a tremble. “Why would she want to kill me?”

“She heard about what happened downtown. The bloodbath.”

“They had it coming,” she rushed to say, furious.

“So did the man I killed before she locked me up; she even agreed. It did not matter.” He seemed amused, gleeful even, as he told her. “Either way, she went down there to help, yesterday; it’s a miracle you didn’t cross paths. But by now she must have felt you breach her barriers and will be coming back. You might have a few hours before she comes to end you.”

“And yet you’re here. Alive. Acting as her attack dog.” Caroline snapped at him; she felt victorious when she saw real fury in his eyes.

“Because I am her son.”

He looked as if he’d made a dramatic reveal, but Caroline didn’t have it in her to feel surprised. She could now imagine, as she wouldn’t have been before, how a mother could lock up her son; she could understand why she’d still make an exception. She tried as hard as possible not to think of her terrified parents, who had wanted her as far away as possible, yet had heard her pleads and welcomed her into the house to take off her bloodied dress and gather what she could to escape –including a sharp blade she’d only registered later, might not be necessary any longer, for she now was the weapon. She’d promised not to harm them, promised not to seek them ever again. They’d let her in, despite how bad an idea it could turn out to be. Despite how bad an idea it was.

She swallowed the knot in her throat and felt annoyance when she tasted him again. “Is there any way to break her spell?”

“A witch’s spells end when she dies.”

“You’re trapped here too. Why don’t you kill her?” She couldn’t imagine someone like him feeling loyalty to a mother who’d turned him into a prisoner.

“Besting her isn’t easy.” he replied. “That is not the only spell over the tower. Some of them are on me, too.”

“How many,” it suddenly occurred to her, “how many like us came here, finding their deaths? While you did nothing to help them?”

“Some. Some didn’t believe my warnings.” Caroline didn’t want to believe them either, but she could tell, down the pit of her stomach, they were true. “Some did. Some of those hesitated even then. All of them died, which I knew would happen. I don’t bet on losing horses.”

She could tell he expected her to ask if he’d laid with any of them as he’d done with her. That enough would’ve been reason enough not to raise the question, but in truth, she didn’t see how the answer would make any difference to her.

“I haven’t lost a day in my life,” she spat.

“You died.”

“And I ate the six men it took to kill me,” she yelled, attempting to look imposing.

A big, unhinged grin grew from the middle of his face. Feral.


When the witch arrived, she walked on a straight line to where her son waited and grabbed his chin with a possessive, gentle hand before lovingly whispering his name.

She could understand why others had doubted Klaus's claims. She looked matriarchal, powerful; mother nature incarnated into a blonde, soft-faced woman.

But it was how Klaus acted that felt jarring in the picture. Passive to her touch, dead-eyed, with an undercurrent on tension visible in every muscle.

Or maybe he just was uncomfortable with his clothes on.

Whatever the case, better to be cautious, in Caroline’s opinion. The witch hadn’t thought of keeping monsters out, to protect herself, her son, and their home; her spell was designed to lure them in and trap them inside, and there were only two possible outcomes: imprisonment or murder. Neither was acceptable.

And so, Klaus words didn’t fall on deaf ears –she didn’t hesitate; she didn’t bite her, mindful of that herb he’d mention. She lunged at her, trying to catch her unawares; she’d gone for the neck, intending to twist it, something quick and simple. The witch reacted on time, but Caroline’s push managed to make her hit her head against the bookcase, spilling various bottles over the floor.

The witch’s face didn’t show any other emotion other than drive and determination when she faced against Caroline. She raised her hand and shouted gibberish, making Caroline’s head feel on fire, feel as if she was dying all over again. She could feel blood coming out of her ears and taste it right behind her teeth.

Caroline dropped down the floor and took out the small knife she’d brought with her from her childhood home. With a quick draw, she slashed her ankles, interrupting her focus and making her drop down.

Before she could gather herself and stab her to death, a wild, screaming Klaus jumped above his own mother. He hit her repeatedly over the head –it took Caroline a second to recognize the object as a candelabra, finding it incongruent and confusing amidst the scene—, over and over. The sick sound of the metal against the skull continued after the woman’s eyes were empty, her blood mixing on her hair, red, grey and yellow. Despite her newfound taste for it, Caroline felt no desire to drink it.

Klaus let a half pained, half triumphant scream leave his body, sounding as if it came from deep inside his lungs. His breath was heavy, and his shoulders were dropped in defeat as his face looked blissful.

He stepped over his mother's corpse and walked towards her. For a second, Caroline knew he was going to kill her, and tightened her hand around the blade. Instead, he extended his forearm, placing it in front of her mouth. Confused by the dissonance, she bit into it still expecting the blow that never came.

His blood tasted richer than anything she’d ever tried, and it was a miracle she managed to stop.


They climbed down the vines after the last sun-ray hid behind the horizon.

Caroline had asked him if he knew how to reach any other witches, ones willing to give her the spell that would protect her from the sun. He’d willingly extended the information, and though she couldn’t see what he could possibly gain from deceiving her, she planned on maintaining a healthy level of distrust. On top of that, she couldn’t deny she felt some resentment, at the fact that she still depended on his help.

“I don’t expect you’ll allow some company,” he said, not appearing to be entirely joking.

“Tell me,” she demanded, “was I just your ticket out of the tower? Or were you just that lonely?”

“I told you. I do not bet on losing horses,” he replied, cryptic. He had an unnerving smirk on his face, his eyes even more unnatural now that the moon let her see them under more light.

Somehow, with clothes still on, he reminded her even more of those old stories. He looked exactly like you’d imagine one of those demonic monsters of legends, disguising themselves with the flesh of handsome gentlemen to trap innocent souls.

Caroline was not an innocent soul. She was a killer. And she, too, looked exactly like one of those legends.

She nodded goodbye and turned away, tightening around the heavy cloak she’d lifted from the witch. Klaus chuckled behind her, and she could picture him with that maddening, feral grin.

“Until we meet again, Caroline.”

Was that a promise, or a threat?



Well, that's a problem...

May. 23rd, 2026 09:18 am
olivermoss: (Default)
[personal profile] olivermoss
My computer display is markedly more blue than my tablet, and currently signs point to it being a laptop thing. My laptop... where I spend so much time editing / evaluating / etc photos...

I did my best to run this down last night and tomorrow and, I am still confused. I just did a color calibration and laptop seems fine. I moved the blue slider down one click, but it makes only the tiniest difference. Two clicks was too much. The weird thing is that my camera has a slight yellow bias, so when I shoot landscape I have to fix the color temp and make it more blue.

It's not a Procreate export issue. I am comparing an image I put in my personal Discord on my tablet versus my laptop. I am currently at a loss.
[syndicated profile] otw_news_feed

Posted by callmeri

Manacles Press, publisher of various fanzines including Nudge Nudge Wink Wink (Professionals), McPikus Interruptus (Wiseguy), and Consupiscence (multifandom), is importing the zines’ fanworks to the Archive of Our Own (AO3).

In this post:

Background explanation

Manacles Press was run by Megan Kent and Charlotte C. Hill in the 1990’s, publishing both anthology and novel zines. Megan and Charlotte are happy to archive these works in an effort to preserve fannish history and to keep the fanworks available and free.

The fanzines to be imported are:

The purpose of the Open Doors Committee’s AO3 Fanzine Scan Hosting Project (FSHP) is to assist publishers of fanzines to incorporate the fanworks from those fanzines into the Archive of Our Own. It is extremely important to Open Doors that we work in collaboration with publishers who want to import their fanzines and that we fully credit creators, giving them as much control as possible over their fanworks. Open Doors will be working with Manacles Press to import the fanzines listed above into separate, searchable collections on the Archive of Our Own. As part of preserving the fanzines in their entirety, all art in the fanzines will be hosted on the OTW’s servers and embedded in their own AO3 work pages.

We will begin importing works from Manacles Press’s fanzines to the AO3 after June 2026. However, the import may not take place for several months or even years, depending on the size and complexity of the task. Creators are always welcome to import their own works and add them to the collections in the meantime.

What does this mean for creators who had work(s) in Manacles Press’s fanzines?

We will send an import notification to the email address we have for each creator. We’ll do our best to check for an existing copy of any works before importing. If we find a copy already on the AO3, we will add it to the collection instead of importing it. All works archived on behalf of a creator will include their name in the byline or the summary of the work.

All imported works will be set to be viewable only by logged-in AO3 users. Once you claim your works, you can make them publicly-viewable if you choose. After 30 days, all unclaimed imported works will be made visible to all visitors.

Please contact Open Doors with your creator pseud(s) and email address(es), if:

  1. You’d like us to import your works, but you need the notification sent to a different email address than the publisher has a record of.
  2. You already have an AO3 account and have imported your works already yourself.
  3. You’d like to import your works yourself (including if you don’t have an AO3 account yet).
  4. You would NOT like your works moved to the AO3, or would NOT like your works added to the fanzine collections.
  5. You are happy for us to preserve your works on the AO3, but would like us to remove your name.
  6. You have any other questions we can help you with.

Please include the name of the publisher or fanzine in the subject heading of your email. If you no longer have access to the email account the publisher has a record of, please contact Open Doors and we’ll help you out. (If you’ve posted the works elsewhere, or have an easy way to verify that they’re yours, that’s great; if not, we will work with Manacles Press to confirm your claims.)

Please see the Open Doors website for instructions on:

If you still have questions…

If you have further questions, visit the Open Doors FAQ, or contact the Open Doors committee.

We’d also love it if fans could help us preserve the story of Manacles Press and its fanzines on Fanlore. If you’re new to wiki editing, no worries! Check out the new visitor portal, or ask the Fanlore Gardeners for tips.

We’re excited to be able to help preserve Manacles Press’s fanzines!

– The Open Doors team, Megan and Charlotte

Commenting on this post will be disabled in 14 days. If you have any questions, concerns, or comments regarding this import after that date, please contact Open Doors.

Double Drabble: Another Spooky-Do

May. 23rd, 2026 05:05 pm
badly_knitted: (Andy - Talkin' Sense)
[personal profile] badly_knitted
 


Title: Another Spooky-Do
Author: 
[personal profile] badly_knitted
Characters: PC Andy, OC.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 918: Denial, at 
[community profile] torchwood100.
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The people of Cardiff are very good at rationalising what they see.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
 


 

I may be killing Biggie

May. 23rd, 2026 08:17 am
susandennis: (Default)
[personal profile] susandennis
Biggie is very good about at least trying to take his pills. He does not run from me, but in trying to get them down his throat, his teeth have caught my finger twice and my thumb once in the last 3 days. Plus by the time we try 43 times, a lot of the pill has dissolved. He's not allowed to have anything to eat except prescription wet cat food. But, I'm putting his pills in pill pockets. He LOVES them. I swaddle them into the pill pockets and put the result down on his plate and every bit of the pills are inside his tummy in an instant.

So if he dies by pill pocket, that's just the way it was meant to be.

I've really enjoyed this volleyball holiday. It has not been as much fun as it was once. There is really only one person I enjoy seeing and playing with every time and he's out with a broken foot. The rest of the people who come often just annoy me. Two of those people have now decided we should change the game schedule from Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from 6:30/7 to 8 (Those same two already killed a half hour of play last year). Those two, by the way, do none of the set up and take down required for every game. Anyway. Now they have decided we should play MWF at 8 or 8:30. The reason they are saying is they think more people will play. The real reason is that they want to sleep in. Everyone else seems fine with that so now I have a graceful out. That is too late in the day for me. By the time I get home and dressed it would be 10 or 11 and nearly lunchtime. That's half the day 3 days a week. Nope.

We are meeting today at 1 pm - same time as the Mariner game starts :(. To discuss. My plan is to keep my mouth shut unless asked directly, in which case, I'll allow as how I'm willing to join the first few games to get them started but not long term.

I'd be happy to get down there and swim my laps and be done before they start. So it could be a win win for all of us!

Today is elbow coffee but that's still an hour out. Then I was going to settle in for the ballgame. Oh well.

Fitbit says I have 2,875 steps so far today. I say WTF? I walked to the pool (about 700 steps) and I walked back. Did I slip into a walking coma??? How very weird. The Fitbit app is being gobbled up and rebranded as Google any minute now. So no more Fitbit anything.

20260522_194059-COLLAGE
[personal profile] fox_in_me



📝 Оригинальный текст записи

Иногда мне кажется, что я разучился быть обычным человеком. Несколько дней назад я ходил в один из сервисных центров оформлять документы. И вдруг поймал себя на странном ощущении. Я уже почти забыл, как выглядит нормальная мирная жизнь: светлое помещение, кондиционеры, вежливые люди, спокойные голоса. Никто никуда не спешит, красиво поставленная речь, улыбки. Всё работает спокойно и предсказуемо.
Когда-то это был и мой мир тоже. До того как моя жизнь полностью изменилась. И именно там я особенно остро понял одну вещь: я больше не хочу возвращаться в ту среду, где работал раньше с «нашими» экипажами из своей страны. Слишком многое внутри сгорело за эти годы, и многое так же было ясно до.

Вчера вечером я снова пошёл гулять по городу. Сидел в Приморском бульваре, слушал уличных музыкантов, смотрел как постепенно загораются огни на деревьях. Как люди собираются в компании. Как закрываются летние площадки. Как город медленно начинает жить своей вечерней жизнью. И я снова чувствовал себя чужим внутри всего этого. Не потому что мне неприятны люди. Наоборот. Мне нравится смотреть на красивые пары. На женщин в платьях и мужчин в костюмах. На то, как кто-то просто идёт по вечернему городу, смеётся, заходит в кафе, живёт свою обычную жизнь. В этом есть что-то очень красивое. Очень человеческое. Очень мирное. И, наверное, именно поэтому мне так тяжело находиться рядом с этим. Потому что я понимаю, насколько далеко сейчас находится моя собственная жизнь от всей этой лёгкости. Я сидел с чаем, куском «Наполеона» и сигаретой, слушал разговоры вокруг. Люди обсуждали отношения, работу, отдых, какие-то бытовые вещи. Даже войну и армию, но как что-то далёкое, почти абстрактное. И я ловил себя на мысли, что линия фронта сейчас намного ближе, чем им кажется. Буквально за акваторией порта уже начинается совсем другой мир. И это хорошо, что они этого не чувствуют. Наверное, так и должно быть.

Мне от этого не становится легче. Я честно признаюсь: мне страшно просто взять и начать жить обычную жизнь. Даже зайти одному в кафе для меня иногда становится внутренним испытанием. Хотя я понимаю, что внешне у меня есть все шансы познакомиться с кем угодно, влиться почти в любую компанию, поддержать разговор. Я замечаю взгляды людей. Иногда симпатию. Иногда интерес. Я хорошо чувствую это всё, наверное даже слишком хорошо.
И в то же время внутри почти сразу возникает странное ощущение: это всё не то. Не потому что люди плохие. Не потому что мне кто-то неприятен.

А потому что мне всё чаще не хватает не общения как такового, а именно глубины. Ощущения, что кто-то действительно способен увидеть чуть дальше внешнего образа, спокойного голоса и привычки держаться.
Но я этого не делаю. И дело даже не в людях вокруг. А во мне самом. Наверное, я слишком привык быть человеком, который держится. Который слушает. Который помогает. Который отдаёт указания. Который всё контролирует. Но внутри у меня всё чаще появляется очень простая человеческая потребность: не только наблюдать жизнь со стороны, а разделять её с кем-то.

Поймал себя ещё на одной странной вещи. У меня дома полно еды. Для меня и котов её более чем достаточно. Но я всё равно пошёл на Привоз. Не потому что мне что-то было нужно. А потому что мне хотелось разговаривать. Пробовать клубнику. Спрашивать про сыр. Обсуждать помидоры. Слушать обычные одесские разговоры «за жизнь». Вот чего мне на самом деле сейчас не хватает: простоты. Лёгкости. Искреннего человеческого присутствия. Мне всё чаще хочется делиться своими мыслями, планами, страхами. Но я вдруг понял, что человека, которому я мог бы по-настоящему всё это доверить - нет. И от этого внутри становится удивительно тихо.

Когда я сегодня ехал домой после работы, у меня почему-то на повторе играла Rihanna — Unfaithful. И я даже не могу до конца объяснить, почему именно эта песня. Просто в какой-то момент мне захотелось ехать через город без конечной точки. Быстрее. Дальше.

Не думая о времени, маршруте или завтрашнем дне….Только музыка.
Пустая дорога. Огни. Ветер в окнах. И ощущение скорости, которое хотя бы ненадолго заглушает всё остальное внутри.
Наверное, мне в тот момент хотелось не просто куда-то ехать.
А почувствовать хоть что-то настоящее. Понять, что я всё ещё живой.
Что внутри меня ещё осталось что-то кроме усталости, контроля и постоянного внутреннего напряжения.
Сейчас за окном начинается буря. И я почти уверен, что когда дождь закончится, я снова выйду гулять по пустому городу. Слушать запах цветущих каштанов и акаций.
Смотреть на улицы, на которых почти никого нет.
Наверное потому, что именно в такие часы город становится честнее.
Да и я сам тоже.
И, возможно, весь этот текст был только об одном:
я всё ещё пытаюсь понять, как перестать быть гостем в собственной жизни.


Note translated in assistance with AI GPT

Sometimes it feels like I’ve forgotten how to be an ordinary person.
A few days ago, I went to one of the service centers to process some documents. And suddenly I caught myself experiencing a strange feeling. I had almost forgotten what normal peaceful life looks like: bright rooms, air conditioning, polite people, calm voices. Nobody rushing anywhere. Carefully spoken words. Smiles. Everything functioning quietly and predictably.

Once, this used to be my world too. Before my life completely changed.
And it was there that I realized something very clearly once again: I no longer want to return to the environment where I used to work with “our” crews from my own country. Too much inside me has burned out over these years. And honestly, many things had already been clear to me even before all of this.
Last evening I went walking through the city again. I sat on Primorsky Boulevard, listening to street musicians, watching the lights slowly appear in the trees. Watching people gather into groups. Watching summer terraces close for the night. Watching the city slowly slip into its evening rhythm.

And once again, I felt like a stranger inside all of it.
Not because people disgust me. Quite the opposite. I like watching beautiful couples. Women in dresses and men in suits. Watching someone simply walk through the evening city, laugh, step into a café, live their ordinary life.
There is something deeply beautiful about it. Something deeply human. Peaceful.
And maybe that’s exactly why it’s so hard for me to stand next to it all. Because I understand just how far my own life now is from that lightness.

I sat there with tea, a slice of Napoleon cake, and a cigarette, listening to conversations around me. People talked about relationships, work, vacations, everyday things. Even war and the army — but as if they were distant concepts, almost abstract ones.

And I caught myself thinking that the front line is much closer than they realize. Literally beyond the port waters, another world already begins. And it’s good that they don’t feel it. Maybe that’s how it should be.
But it doesn’t make it any easier for me.

I’ll admit honestly: I’m afraid of simply trying to live a normal life again.
Sometimes even walking alone into a café feels like an internal challenge. Even though I know that outwardly I have every chance to meet almost anyone, blend into almost any company, hold almost any conversation.
I notice people’s looks. Sometimes sympathy. Sometimes interest. I feel all of it very clearly — probably too clearly.
And yet almost immediately another strange feeling appears inside me: this is not it.

Not because the people are bad. Not because I dislike anyone.
But because more and more often I realize that what I miss is not communication itself, but depth. The feeling that someone could truly see beyond the calm voice, the composed appearance, the habit of holding myself together.
But I still don’t step toward it. And the problem isn’t even the people around me. The problem is myself.

Maybe I’ve simply become too used to being the person who holds on. Who listens. Who helps. Who gives orders. Who keeps everything under control.
But inside me there is more and more often a very simple human need: not only to observe life from the outside, but to share it with someone.
I caught myself in another strange thing recently.

My refrigerator at home is full of food. More than enough for me and my cats. But I still went to Privoz market anyway. Not because I needed anything. But because I wanted conversations.
To taste strawberries. Ask about cheese. Discuss tomatoes. Listen to ordinary Odessa conversations “about life.”
That’s what I truly miss right now: simplicity. Lightness. Genuine human presence.
More and more often I want to share my thoughts, my plans, my fears. But suddenly I realized that there is no longer a person beside me whom I could truly trust with all of it.

And because of that, something inside becomes incredibly quiet.
Today, while driving home after work, Rihanna’s “Unfaithful” kept playing on repeat for some reason. And I honestly can’t fully explain why that particular song.

At some point I simply wanted to drive through the city without any final destination. Faster. Further.
Without thinking about time, routes, or tomorrow.
Just music. Empty roads. Lights. Wind through the windows. And that feeling of speed that, at least for a little while, silences everything else inside.
Maybe in that moment I didn’t just want to drive somewhere.
I wanted to feel something real again. To understand that I’m still alive.
That there is still something left inside me besides exhaustion, control, and constant inner tension.

A storm is beginning outside my window now. And I’m almost certain that once the rain stops, I’ll go walking through the empty city again. Listening to the smell of blooming chestnut trees and акаcias after the rain. Looking at streets where almost nobody remains.
Maybe because during hours like these the city becomes more honest.
And so do I.
And perhaps this entire text was only about one thing:
I’m still trying to understand how to stop being a guest in my own life.

[personal profile] brightknightie posting in [community profile] fandom_on_dw
FK Fic Fest 2026

[community profile] fkficfest | FKFicFest A03 Collection

We're playing our 17th annual Forever Knight (1992-1996) ficathon game!

  • Due on the AO3 on July 18, for release starting July 20
  • Minimum length: 500 words
  • We've identified 13 prompts as a shared challenge pool. Each story must use at least one official prompt. Check them out!

Remember FK? Just discovered FK? Curious about the original and still greatest vampire homicide cop TV show? :-D We've got police procedurals, historical fiction, vampire horror, urban fantasy, psychological drama, and so much more. Come play!


Speak Up Saturday

May. 23rd, 2026 04:30 pm
feurioo: (tv: coffee prince eun-chan cute)
[personal profile] feurioo posting in [community profile] tv_talk
Assortment of black and white speech bubbles

Welcome to the weekly roundup post! What are you watching this week? What are you excited about?

YMI -- ODB: 23 May 2026

May. 23rd, 2026 10:14 am
sparowe: (Bible)
[personal profile] sparowe

ODB: Freedom in Christ

May 23, 2026

READ: 2 Corinthians 3:7-18 

 

The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

In 1849, Henry “Box” Brown (a US enslaved man from Virginia) folded himself into a wooden crate marked “dry goods,” and two friends shipped him from Richmond to Philadelphia. Brown was inside the box (3 x 2.5 x 2 feet) for the 26-hour trip, with three small holes cut for air. As abolitionists pulled Brown from the box, he sang a paraphrase of Psalm 40, expressing his hope in the God who promises freedom. “If you have never been deprived of your liberty, as I was,” Brown later wrote, “you cannot realize the power of that hope of freedom, which was to me indeed, an anchor to the soul, both sure and steadfast.”

Freedom is central to how God operates in our hearts and in our world. His wisdom leads to spiritual freedom, but false wisdom leads to oppression. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is,” Paul says, “there is freedom” from sin, death, and condemnation (2 Corinthians 3:17). When we listen to God and follow His ways, freedom results. Unfortunately the opposite is also true: When we ignore Him and resist His invitations, we become ensnared and confined. God liberates and transforms us by His Spirit (v. 18), but sin and rebellion traps us.

We sometimes believe that God limits and obstructs our possibilities and pleasure. But in truth, He’s the only one who can lead us into an expansive future, the only one who can guide us into genuine freedom.

— Winn Collier

Where have you felt trapped in life? How do you sense God’s desire to guide you into freedom?

Dear God, please help me to be transformed and free in You.

Learn more about having a personal relationship with God.

Source: Our Daily Bread

check in day 23

May. 23rd, 2026 03:15 pm
lilly_c: Mirror!Kathryn and Mirror!Chakotay being affectionate in Cracked Mirror (Default)
[personal profile] lilly_c posting in [community profile] writethisfanfic
How is the writing going?

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6


Today I

View Answers

wrote
4 (66.7%)

edited
2 (33.3%)

posted
1 (16.7%)

sent to beta
0 (0.0%)

researched
1 (16.7%)

planned
2 (33.3%)

had a break
0 (0.0%)

dealt with life
2 (33.3%)



Feel free to share a snippet of something you're working on. Link to something that you've posted recently. Chat amongst yourselves.

(no subject)

May. 23rd, 2026 05:10 pm
fox_in_me: fox.in.me (Default)
[personal profile] fox_in_me posting in [community profile] add_a_writer
Name: Mr. Fox


Age: 30-something


I mostly post about:
Fragments of life, memory, war, and the strange feeling of trying to remain human while the world changes around you.

I write honest personal entries about life in Ukraine during wartime not as news reports, but as lived emotions. Memories of peaceful years, quiet evenings by the sea, conversations, fears, hope, exhaustion, music on empty streets, radio signals in the night, thoughts about humanity, loneliness, survival, and the fragile beauty that still somehow exists beside all of this.

Before the war, my life was deeply connected with the sea, travel, ships, people from different countries, and long roads between places. Some of those stories still appear here too.

This journal was reborn after a long silence. Every entry is published both in English and in its original language. I also share my own photography : small visual fragments of different periods of my life, usually connected to the mood of a specific post.

If I had to describe this journal simply:
these are probably letters from a person trying not to lose himself completely.

My hobbies are:
Photography (almost professionally), lomography and everyday street photography, music (acoustic, post-rock, instrumental covers, atmospheric music), psychology, radio communication, history, classical literature, travel, long night walks, and collecting strange little moments that most people pass by without noticing.

I love meaningful conversations and people who still know how to feel deeply.

My fandoms are:
Not really fandom-oriented.

But I love thoughtful writing, old internet culture, personal blogs, atmospheric media, documentaries, literature, music, photography, and people with their own inner worlds.

I'm looking to meet people who:
...feel something when they read my words.

Kind people. Thoughtful people. Quiet observers. Those who still value sincerity on the internet.

You absolutely do not have to share my experiences to understand the emotions behind them.

I’m open to meeting people from different countries and backgrounds — as long as empathy still exists in them.

(And yes, one exception remains:
I do not welcome people who support or justify the war.)

My posting schedule tends to be:
Usually several times a week.
Sometimes more often when thoughts become too loud to keep inside.

When I add people, my dealbreakers are:
Cruelty, dehumanization, propaganda, or people who completely lost the ability to empathize with others.

Otherwise, I prefer discovering people naturally through conversation and writing.

Before adding me, you should know:
I’m Ukrainian.
And I think that inevitably shapes many things I write now.

Still, this journal is not built around politics alone.
It is about trying to preserve memory, humanity, warmth, irony, curiosity, and the ability to notice beauty even during difficult times.

Welcome aboard.
These are still my messages in a bottle.

[personal profile] alias_sqbr
Masterlist.

Ha, I have now started Episode 6 and once again all my theories are in disarray. Episode 5 was amazing though, a really clever deconstruction of the existing structure and the very concept of a murder mystery.

CW: Suicide. Domestic violence, kinda?

Read more... )

Pink Lemonade Tart

May. 23rd, 2026 07:39 am
nverland: (Cooking)
[personal profile] nverland posting in [community profile] creative_cooks
image host

Pink Lemonade Tart
Total: 4 hr 15 min (includes chilling and cooling times) Active: 1 hr Yield: 8 servings

Ingredients

*Shortbread Crust:
Nonstick cooking spray, for the tart pan
2 cups all-purpose flour (see Cook's note)
1 stick (8 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, diced
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

1 large egg
*Lemon Curd:
1/2 cup lemon juice (about 4 lemons)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon milk
3 large eggs plus 2 yolks
1 stick (8 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, diced

*Strawberry Puree:
8 ounces strawberries, hulled
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon lemon juice

*Meringue:
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Pinch cream of tartar
4 large egg whites, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Lemon zest strips, for garnish

Read more... )
Tags:

little libraries

May. 23rd, 2026 09:00 am
asakiyume: (Em reading)
[personal profile] asakiyume
I came across this great story elsewhere on the interwebs, an 89-year-old guy in Puchong (near Kuala Lumpur), Malaysia, who's set up reading stations in a public park. He also has helped libraries in Thailand and China. (Article here.)

There's also a short video linked in the article, which is great, because you can hear Mr Lee in his own words:

"I think Malaysia should follow China, where every village has one library. That's good."**



I was thinking of Little Free Libraries in this country. I think they're a great idea in places where there's foot traffic, where many different people might stop by and look over the books. I sometimes see them, though, in places where I wonder what traffic they'll get. On winding country roads with rather large houses situated far back from the roads on ample, gracious properties. And at the roadside, a little free library. But who's going to be walking by? I guess maybe the neighbors? But there's just not the same thickness of people.

Also, this guy thinks of himself as lending the books, not giving them away. He doesn't mind if you keep the book a month, six months, a year, and in fact he probably isn't going to be upset if a book doesn't come back, but the *idea* is that it will come back--and that means that the borrower has more connection with the site, and there's a sense of mutual responsibility. Plus the story says that people like to come and chat with him.

There can be more than one pattern! Little Free Libraries have a kind of spy-drop-box vibe. Ships passing in the night, taking books, maybe leaving books. That can be fun too. But I like the actual social interaction involved in what Mr Lee is doing.

Do any of you oversee a Little Free Library or frequent one (or more than one)? What's your experience been?


**Not exactly his words, which are Malaysian-English word order and has some special words I didn't catch, but that's how they're glossed and mainly what he said.

Books Received, May 16 — 22

May. 23rd, 2026 08:48 am
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


A dozen books new to me: eight fantasy, three science fiction, one historical, at least four of which are series.

Books Received, May 16 — 22

Poll #34638 Books Received, May 16 — 22
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 38


Which of these look interesting?

View Answers

A Dance of Burning Blades by M. H. Ayinde (April 2026)
8 (21.1%)

Crimson in Quietus by Eugen Bacon (September 2026)
7 (18.4%)

To Ride a Rising Storm by Moniquill Blackgoose (January 2026)
17 (44.7%)

Blade of Two Faces by Blake Blessing (November 2026)
3 (7.9%)

The Silver Hand by Shawn Carpenter (August 2026)
4 (10.5%)

Like the Moon We Rise by Annabelle Cormack (January 2027)
3 (7.9%)

Little Necromancers by Emma Devlin (March 2027)
6 (15.8%)

Eyes of Kings by Chloe Gong (August 2026)
1 (2.6%)

What Haunts the Ice by S. Hati (January 2027)
3 (7.9%)

The Curve of the World by Vonda N. McIntyre (March 2026)
27 (71.1%)

The Unfolding: Mairee by S. Nyland (April 2026)
4 (10.5%)

Project V by Park Seolyeon (April 2026)
7 (18.4%)

Some other option (see comments)
1 (2.6%)

Cats!
22 (57.9%)

October 2025

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