Eleventh salon: What makes a vacation a vacation?

[jenett]

Welcome to the eleventh salon! Wander in, invite a friend to come along, and chat! (Not sure what's going on? Here, have a brief FAQ.) You can find previous ones in my salon tag. Please take a quick look at the reminders at the bottom of this post, too.

I am now on vacation, so you get vacation question, round two!

What makes a really great vacation for you? Are you a person who just wants to sleep and recuperate and drink thing with little frilly umbrellas in them? Do you want to go to interesting and unfamiliar places and explore the world? Do you want to do this with other people or on your own?

My usual vacation is either "Stay home and get things done on projects" or "Go visit people I like in place I am not currently living". The current vacation is the latter, though not in my most usual place for it, and I'm contemplating what it would take to go do two weeks in England in the fall of 2014. (which would be a Go See All The Things vacation, for slightly odd values of 'Things' because I've already seen most of the obvious tourist things, and have a very specific "This museum and that place" set of goals.

(I am currently in a room filled with interesting and fascinating people in person, and there will be other people around tonight, so comment replies slightly slower than usual.)

Quick reminders

- jjhunter did a great guide to following conversations here on Dreamwidth. Also a roundup of regular Dreamwidth events.
- If you want to post anonymously, please pick a name (any name you like) that we can call you - it makes it more conversational and helps if we have more than one anon post.
- Base rule remains "Leave the conversation better than you found it, or at least not worse". If you're nervous about that, I'd rather you say something and we maybe sort out confusion later than have you not say something. (I've heard from a few people who worry they're going to say something that's going to be taken weirdly. If it helps, I am usually around and if there's a thing you'd like to get out in the conversation, but you're not sure how, feel free to PM or email or IM me, and I'll nudge the conversation that direction.)
- The FAQ still has useful stuff, and I added some thoughts about getting conversations going a few weeks ago.
- Comments tend to trickle in over the course of a day or two, with a few nearly a week later: you might enjoy checking back later if you're not tracking the conversation.

Comments

[sashajwolf]

I like to be outdoors most of the time on vacation, preferably long-distance trekking on trails that are new to me. Part of the point of this is to get into a meditative state, so I like the trails to be well signposted so that I'm not stressed by having to navigate, and I like to walk either on my own or with people who can do the "companionable silence" thing. boxcat is always top of my list. I also particularly like trails that end up or pass through places that have a spiritual significance for me.

For environmental reasons, I prefer trails I can reach by train in a reasonable time (for values of "reasonable" that can include an all-day train and a sleeper train along the way.) That said, there are some trails in the US and in Asia that I'd love to do some time, perhaps combined with a work trip so that I feel less guilty about the CO2 footprint.

[alexseanchai]

It's not a vacation if there isn't some chance for relaxation. Obviously that's different person to person, but for me, staying home on vacation week means I'm evading the stress of work but not of home. (I live with my parents. So do all my siblings. My brother and I are saving up for places of our own, but it's gonna be a while.) I've got to get out, or else it's not a vacation.

My tentative plans for vacation next year are a week off at the beginning of the summer to either visit friends in Pittsburgh (six-hour drive thataway, not counting rest and food stops) or go to Shenandoah National Park (five-hour drive thataway, ditto) and spend a week doing nothing but writing, and then a week off at the end of the summer to do the other one. I'm hoping to someday have enough money that I can take two weeks to explore Ireland.

[pj]

I always knew a "real" vacation to me is the ocean. What I didn't realize until this year is how much waves have to be a part of that to get to my soul's core and feel the lift. We went to Provincetown, MA this year and it was lovely and fun and I enjoyed myself. The harbor is quiet, though, it made a difference. We went to the ocean side of the Cape one afternoon, but since we weren't equipped to stay any length of time it was not the same.

I like unstructured days, options to do things if I choose, and books to read.

[witchchild]

since I don't have a lot of extra money for touring/new place type of vacations, mine tend to be more relaxing ones and less about being a tourist since I go to places again and again where I know people. This year I tried to be a little different. During my California trip I made a point to *see* and *do* more stuff around SF, and in late May I played tourist for a week in NYC and rented an apartment in Queens. Both were great experiences.

[jjhunter]

A vacation isn't a vacation for me unless I experience a positive abeyance of my normal routines. (This is why it's easier to have a vacation somewhere other than where I usually sleep.) It's not so much a matter of sleeping in - I usually wake up as early as usual after the first morning - as doing and being different things than usual to facilitate stretching myself out of mental & physical complacence with my daily status quo and stock up on personal spoons to boot.

[batrachian]

The keystone of whether something is an actual vacation or not, in my mind, is spending substantial amounts of time with folks I don't normally. Usually it's due to geographic concerns; my social networks have been scattered cross-country starting from a very young age, and as good as the internet is for day-to-day contact, there's something to be said for just Hanging Out Together for a week(end).

For most of college, I made twice-annual trips from Denver to Phoenix to visit a particularly close friend there; we never did anything astoundingly exciting (barring the one trip right after I'd graduated, wherein we went to Phoenix Comicon. But that was an atypical thing.) And that was okay. We hung out for a week, caught up on life, stayed up until 2am talking about whatever.

Not to say I'm averse to staying home and unwinding from work (I do that on a fairly regular basis), but that's not tagged as a 'vacation' in my mind.

[cheyinka]

I want to do things, if I'm on vacation: it can be as simple as buying a hundred M:tG cards and making two decks and playing M:tG for a while, or as complicated as going to a museum. I've never gone-on-vacation by myself (having never lived by myself), so I don't know what I'd want to do in that case - probably visit people, and then do things with the people.

My husband interprets "time off work" as "time where no one should ask me to do anything", which means if we go somewhere (say, to visit his grandparents) all he'll want to do is stay in the hotel and use his laptop. But sometimes I can convince him it'll be all right if he surrenders a morning to something. :D

[kakiphony]

This is a bit vague, but to me a "real" vacation (as opposed to an "obligatory" vacation) is one during which NO ONE (with the possible exception of my spouse) gets to have demands for my time. I get to do what I want to do at all times. That can be exploring new places, basking in the sun, visiting places I already love, or just staying at home and doing whatever I fancy at any given time (which can absolutely include cleaning and projects, as long as they are MY choice). This does not have to mean NOT seeing family and friends, but time away from work in which my family expects to be here or do this...not a vacation.

[kyrielle]

I often take "vacation days" from work that are nothing of the sort - I take them to catch up on household chores. That is helpful, but it's not restful.

For me, a "good" vacation is one that is fun, exciting, or relaxing. (All three would be great, but not necessarily *easy*.) Vacations have included:

* A weeklong poetry workshop at the coast. Beautiful surroundings, inspiring meetings of the class with a mix of readings and practice. Lots of free time, and the structured time was just lovely. (Fun, relaxing; only "exciting" in a purely mental way, but it was...this was nearly perfect.)

* Driving to the Grand Canyon and through Mexico - this was with my parents in high school. The winners were shopping at craft fairs in Mexico, and visiting the Grand Canyon. Not perfect, but fun and relaxing. I'd have enjoyed having more control - the time in Mazatlan was fairly boring, pretty but boring - but see "high school".

* Visiting relatives. This can be anywhere from an excellent vacation to terrible, and it mostly depends on how much I overschedule us and how much I expect. We've had some excellent vacations since the boys were born doing this - allowing time to do stuff around the area (or just swim in the hotel pool), but also hanging out with people we see not nearly often enough. It's so nice to sit and touch base.

Things I find matter:

Leaving myself enough down time. This is time to sit, read or day dream, and generally relax. Trying to do too much is the bane of vacations for me, and it's worse now with kids, since I *have* to do more than I otherwise would because hi, they still have needs and wants. And they're not at an age where letting them entertain themselves is necessarily wise, even when it's possible.

Time in nature. I want to have trees, and water, and the wind. I want to hear the birds. See the stars, maybe. I don't, however, particularly care for tent camping. I keep thinking I should get back to it and let my kids experience it, but I don't actually like the semi-protection, the cold, wondering whether my air mattress will deflate - seriously, why wonder, it will, the things hate me - etc. I loved the time awake at campgrounds as a kid, but I don't love the *camping*. So, isn't it lovely that my state parks have some with yurts, cabins, etc.? I don't really want to deal with a trailer - that's too much - but I admit I'd like a floor and walls. Maybe I'll go back to tent camping some year, but maybe not.

Making sure I have *enough* to do. If it's all total down time, it'd better be a 1-day vacation, or maybe 2 at most. I want to see something fun, or do something fun, or learn something. (Walks on the beach taking photos. Swimming - if I get to swim, not just spot for my kids. Visiting a zoo, provided it's a good one. Amusement parks - I do like rides, hehe. Going boating. Visiting people I know.)

Food.

[kyrielle]

I wanted to pull this out separately - folks, do you eat the same on vacation? If not, how does it differ?

For my part:

I don't eat the same. I don't eat more, but I eat differently. All dairy vanishes from my diet on travel days and days I have important scheduled things - because the risk of not getting the right number of dairy pills is SO not worth it. I eat light foods, but enough of them, on travel days.

Sometimes distraction causes me not to drink enough water, so I take a reusable water bottle with me, and try to make sure I drink plenty. (If traveling by air, just dumping the water out before security and refilling it after works nicely.)

I do tend to "spoil" myself by eating foods I wouldn't normally eat as much of at home - more expensive, or not as good for me, or both - but not to the point where I expect to feel bad.

And a really good meal can be a positive in a vacation. (Case in point: an amazingly nicely-priced Friday night buffet that included excellent fish, shrimp, chicken, ham, and an equally wild variety of side dishes and desserts. Or the wedding potluck for mom, which seriously could give that buffet a run for its money.)

[mrissa]

I am on a vacation of sorts too! I am in Lanesboro at a bed and breakfast with Mark for our anniversary. We took a long walk along the Root River today, because, um. What we do when we visit places is go visit their water. Trees are also nice. But "here we are, what shall we do, I know, let's walk by their water" is really one of our very standard things. (Why Mris does not often vacation in the American Southwest, Reason 316.)

I don't think of conventions as vacations because I am required to interact with too many monkeys for it to feel like a break, even if I'm not getting as much writing done as usual (which I usually am not). When I am on vacation, physical exhaustion is fine but emotional exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed is not really the thing.