I'd actually sort of been saving that for a later salon, but you're right, it's timely. I think it's partly about having people and energy at the same time. (I have more energy than I used to, but it's a small town: the number of people I really want to build community with is limited in various ways.)
But I think some of it is also openness to the possibility, wherein I get to tell a story. Back in February, the co-worker I like best and I went to a movie (in the next town about 45 minutes away that has the art film house, and also a very good Mexican restaurant in the same building - it's where we're seeing Much Ado tonight.) And we'd both had pretty lousy weeks for various reasons.
It's a Friday night, and they're busy, so we have about a 30 minute wait for a table. And about 15 minutes in, we start talking to a woman in her 40s who's there to study and work on something. And when her table comes up, she invites us to join her.
Which is, as it turns out, totally unlike all three of us. But we have an awesome time, and a certain amount of drinking of margaritas, and when my friend and I have to go to the movie, we make plans to do it again a month later. When the other woman brings a friend.
And then we met in June, when they brought another friend. And we just did it again last Friday, and have one planned for Labor Day weekend (longer outing! In Portland! It'll be awesome!) We all totally look forward to them, and it's so totally unlike *all* of us, and yet it's so totally an awesome thing. (We aim at roughly monthly, but my co-worker works a 10 month contract and travels a lot in the summer.)
(I'm the youngest, at 37: my co-worker is the oldest at 62. One of us is just getting into a new house post-divorce, the woman we originally met in February had a really bad couple of years and now is in school to go do awesome stuff. Two of us travel a lot, the other three not so much, and so on. But we're all curious about the world, and interested in talking, and it just *works*.)
I have no idea how you make that kind of thing happen, I really don't. [1] Except not to shut the door on the possibility when it hits you over the head.
But I'm glad that we said yes, and that we keep saying yes, because really, it's totally awesome. And it's very relaxing to be with people where there aren't a lot of expectations except that we show up, talk, and have a good time.
It's not quite all the community I want: I am very aware that I'm short on 'people who could help if I had a medical crisis who are nearby and handy'. But it's a not-bad start, for people I can see in person regularly.
[1] Well. Actually. I sort of do: it is a very functional solution to a bit of magical work I did more than two years ago. But I'm not sure that's actually useful to anyone else.)
Re: Growing the communities we yearn for
But I think some of it is also openness to the possibility, wherein I get to tell a story. Back in February, the co-worker I like best and I went to a movie (in the next town about 45 minutes away that has the art film house, and also a very good Mexican restaurant in the same building - it's where we're seeing Much Ado tonight.) And we'd both had pretty lousy weeks for various reasons.
It's a Friday night, and they're busy, so we have about a 30 minute wait for a table. And about 15 minutes in, we start talking to a woman in her 40s who's there to study and work on something. And when her table comes up, she invites us to join her.
Which is, as it turns out, totally unlike all three of us. But we have an awesome time, and a certain amount of drinking of margaritas, and when my friend and I have to go to the movie, we make plans to do it again a month later. When the other woman brings a friend.
And then we met in June, when they brought another friend. And we just did it again last Friday, and have one planned for Labor Day weekend (longer outing! In Portland! It'll be awesome!) We all totally look forward to them, and it's so totally unlike *all* of us, and yet it's so totally an awesome thing. (We aim at roughly monthly, but my co-worker works a 10 month contract and travels a lot in the summer.)
(I'm the youngest, at 37: my co-worker is the oldest at 62. One of us is just getting into a new house post-divorce, the woman we originally met in February had a really bad couple of years and now is in school to go do awesome stuff. Two of us travel a lot, the other three not so much, and so on. But we're all curious about the world, and interested in talking, and it just *works*.)
I have no idea how you make that kind of thing happen, I really don't. [1] Except not to shut the door on the possibility when it hits you over the head.
But I'm glad that we said yes, and that we keep saying yes, because really, it's totally awesome. And it's very relaxing to be with people where there aren't a lot of expectations except that we show up, talk, and have a good time.
It's not quite all the community I want: I am very aware that I'm short on 'people who could help if I had a medical crisis who are nearby and handy'. But it's a not-bad start, for people I can see in person regularly.
[1] Well. Actually. I sort of do: it is a very functional solution to a bit of magical work I did more than two years ago. But I'm not sure that's actually useful to anyone else.)