jenett: the milky way emerging from silhouetted hills (Default)
jenett ([personal profile] jenett) wrote2013-09-11 11:15 am
Entry tags:

Salon post:

It's Wednesday. There should be a salon post. However, I feel utterly lousy, and I am quite sure I am not particularly coherent. (Fall allergies which lead to cranky lungs + a long day at work yesterday + residual ugh. Nothing dire, but that does not make me happy today.)

Today's question: What do you wish someone had told you ten years ago? (Or five, or twenty: feel free to adjust for your particular circumstances.) And why?

(This question brought to you by a post I did on my religious blog last week)

Reminder: as always, talk amongst yourselves, feel free to digress onto other topics, and have excellent conversation.
theora: (Default)

[personal profile] theora 2013-09-11 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure there's more depth-y stuff, but right now:

Hey 10-year-ago self, that bad posture that you think you're getting away with it? You're not, and it's going to bite you in the ass.
ilyena_sylph: a Comb Gnome (Snags?) with text 'Gotcha now!' repeated (Lady LovelyLocks: comb gnome)

[personal profile] ilyena_sylph 2013-09-11 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh gods, yes.

So much yes. My spine and hips agree with you so much.

That goes back more like 20 years for me, and I really wish someone had told me to stop trying to hide my boobs with my shoulders because I was permanently wrecking my neck and shoulders.
calissa: (Default)

[personal profile] calissa 2013-09-12 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Ditto this one for me too.
ilyena_sylph: LJ Smith's Julian, text 'I am my own master' (Julian)

[personal profile] ilyena_sylph 2013-09-11 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Ten years ago? I wish someone had told me "Honey, you're bi. You always have been, and always will be. Please, for the love of the Gods, dump your homophobic current SO and get on with your life."

Why? I spent several more years hurting myself and hurting him and hurting other people for a relationship that died in brutal flames when it eventually fell apart.
branchandroot: oak against sky (Default)

[personal profile] branchandroot 2013-09-11 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
If wishes were fishes...

"Baby girl, you're only twenty-one, listen to your heart not to encroaching socialization and don't get married. Go on to your grad degrees, you'll be all right on your own, you can have fun and dating and sex and all that stuff without being all Customary and Respectable. You know you don't want that. Listen to yourself."

(ETA: that's actually twenty years ago, but that's the one I really wish someone had told me.)
Edited 2013-09-11 18:09 (UTC)
pretty_panther: (av: iron man flies)

[personal profile] pretty_panther 2013-09-11 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
You're wearing the wrong bra size.

That would have saved so much....stuff. And yet, not changed me so much. Questions like these always make me squirm cause, even the things I've got wrong in my life got me to today and I like me today. Don't think a fitting bra would have changed so much though other than clothes fitting better and my back hurting less.
jjhunter: Drawing of human JJ in ink tinted with blue watercolor; woman wearing glasses with arched eyebrows (JJ inked)

[personal profile] jjhunter 2013-09-11 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Focus less on being perfect the first time / always, and more on handling aftermath of inevitable missteps with something like grace.

Let go of wanting people to tell you you're smart / intelligent / good / etc. It's not useful feedback in the grand scheme of things. Treasure those who are honest & upfront with you, even if that honesty isn't always what you were hoping to hear.

It is okay not to be good at all things. It is okay to struggle, to have feelings, to be raw. Depression does not close all your doors. Your body can be beautiful independent of weight. Find ways to stay present in it.

Read Dear Sugar, and get your ass down on the floor.

You do not have to give people reasons to love you; that's not what this connecting with people thing is about. You will never be able to pay some things back; learn to pay them forward instead.

I love you sweat pea; hang in there.

-Your ten-years-older self
Edited (minor word change + added link) 2013-09-11 23:06 (UTC)
calissa: (Default)

[personal profile] calissa 2013-09-12 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
I'm still trying to learn so much of this :)
pj: (Default)

[personal profile] pj 2013-09-11 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Ten years ago me: Who you are at Work is only a fraction of Who You Are. Take the bad stuff there with a grain of salt and start bringing your whole Self to that environment. You'll be much easier to live with (for others and for yourself).
alexseanchai: 11-round crochet granny square, red center through grape edge (Default)

[personal profile] alexseanchai 2013-09-11 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Pass college. For fuck's sake, eighteen-year-old self, pass college. It is seriously not that hard; all one has to do is spend less time fucking about on the Internet. IUP may not be the place for you, mind, but I'm not going to bother suggesting OSU to you, eighteen-year-old self, because I know you're constrained by distance from home and OSU's in, y'know, Oregon.
rmc28: Photo of me shortly before starting my first half-marathon (Default)

[personal profile] rmc28 2013-09-11 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
When I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, I really wish someone had got through to me that I needed to cut ties for a while and give both of us a chance to reset our expectations of each other, rather than try to "stay friends".

Yes, it would have been hard because of all the friends in common, but all trying to stay friends did was drag out the awkwardness and the death of the old relationship over months and months and kill most of my positive feelings towards him along the way. I regret that very much, and also the way various friends were caught up in the awkwardness along the way.


I wish I'd known about bisexuality and the kinsey scale by my early teens, rather than 19-20 or so. I doubt it would have made my life easier, but I'd have understood myself a lot better.
cheyinka: A Metroid from Metroid Prime, made to look like an old, faded photograph. (faded Metroid)

[personal profile] cheyinka 2013-09-11 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Told me that I would believe, I don't know, but if I could guarantee that past-self would believe now-self:

Stimulant medication is not an evil thing. It will help you. (On the other hand, if I had believed that and gotten my psychiatrist to prescribe it, I might have finished college, which would have probably delayed my getting married, which.... I don't know, it's worked out, but I do wish someone had told me...)

Do not tie your happiness to anyone else's conversion, because they aren't going to.

Your parents are going to get divorced. When they tell you they are, believe them, and don't be so ashamed of them that you refuse to discuss it with anyone; you do better when you try to talk through things that are making you angry and/or unhappy, and this will be no different.
mm_writes: Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell (Default)

[personal profile] mm_writes 2013-09-12 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
To not go back to him (thing is, people did tell me that, as well as I told myself). To go back to another one, or at least try harder to, while we were both still in great shape every which way you could ever gauge by. And oh...a lot of other things, I guess. Problem was, that was 10 years ago, and I was still so headstrong and full of steam there was no...stopping me, I guess, whatever course I was on.
adrian_turtle: stubborn little quilted turtle (Default)

[personal profile] adrian_turtle 2013-09-12 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
"Being smart is not all that important." That was something I needed to learn when I was still smart. Somehow along the way, I was lucky enough to pick up friends who were kind and compassionate...but I wasn't trying to select for that the way I selected for smart and talented.
kakiphony: Chihuly exhibit at the KIA (Default)

[personal profile] kakiphony 2013-09-12 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"You will not like being a lawyer. Really, you won't and law school is stupidly expensive. Here are 1, 2, 3 other concrete options that are not backpacking in Europe or working in a deli. And here are the steps you need to take to get there."

Career counseling would have rocked.
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)

[personal profile] silveradept 2013-09-13 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Younger self: You are rubbish at reading signals because of crushing self-esteem issues. You will want to make friends who can be direct with you about things.

Secondly, pursue your curiosities and interests more. You will like things more when you've got a base of people to hang out with, too.